Success Stories

“We had tried marriage counselling before, more than once. Unsuccessfully! I knew I did not want to separate and break up our family, but I did not understand what was wrong and, more importantly, felt powerless to fix things. I was both cynical and very reluctant the first time we met Michael. I was proved wrong. The impact he has had on us has been more than we could have hoped for. To those hesitating, or worrying about whether there really is hope: trust me, it is.”

“We started out with a one-day intensive following a painful infidelity on my husband’s part. I had all but given up hope of us ever reconnecting. With Michael’s help we transformed how we communicated and, most importantly, re-experienced the connection and affection that had been lost for years. Three months in, I realised, whilst out on a romantic date with my dramatically different husband, that we’d become a couple people might observe and envy. I can honestly say we are stronger now than ever before.”

“I’ve not had anyone, two psychologists included, ever in my life hit me over the head so hard with my character defects, and it feels good to have them out in the open after decades. I really never knew what a narcissist was, but I am a quick learner. I know what selfish is though, and know that is me. I was truly shaken after the first hour, when you listened to my wife tell her whole story and then said she appeared to have little choice but to separate from me, and that I was in need of immediate clinical help. A hammer on the head. I’ve spent the evening Googling clinics, sexual addiction, screen addiction. Google now knows way too much about me, but fuck it. I have to cling to the 1% chance that my wife and I can reconcile. Maybe not now. But maybe in six months, or a year. She talked to me ten times more on the drive home than on the trip there, where I was just paralysed with fear I’d say the wrong thing. Harsh, but very effective. Thank you.”

“We just wanted to say thank you, properly. You’ve helped us slow down, listen, and really see each other again. That alone has changed everything. It’s not just our marriage that feels stronger, it’s our whole outlook on life, family, and each other. You’ve helped us rebuild something real. Your life’s work doesn’t go unnoticed. It matters.”

“I’d like to apologise for the way our time finished. Out of everything said that day, those last words you said to Belinda hurt me the most. The following day I made an appointment and got a mental health plan to change my behaviours. I wouldn’t have taken any action, and would have kept the same trajectory, without your challenge. For that I am truly grateful. I’m committed to working on a better version of myself so this doesn’t get passed on to our children. We haven’t had an unhappy marriage over the 22 years, I’ve just been unhappy with myself and hidden it from her. I look forward to meeting who I can possibly be.”

“Chris and I came to see you, and you opened my eyes to the reality of the abuse I was suffering. The day after, I reached out to my family, who were so relieved I’d taken your advice, and they helped me make an exit plan. They had seen the warnings and were praying I would too. I packed three cases, got my kids in the car and left. With my family’s support I ended the relationship, cancelled our wedding, and saved my life. I have been stronger than I ever knew I could be, and the worst is behind me. Thank you for your brutal honesty, for shocking me into seeing what was happening. Thank you for saving me.”

“It was amazing. Life changing. I didn’t think there was any way I’d get my wife to give me another chance.”

“The last six months of counselling with you has been challenging but transformative in every sense. I have my dignity back and no longer feel like a victim in our marriage. After getting a taste of what an intimate, loving relationship looks like, I won’t settle for less. As for Robin, he’s at the beginning, but with your guidance he’s taken the first and hardest steps. He’d been so weighed down by shame that things were fast becoming unmanageable, and this may sound dramatic, but I think you’ve saved his life. You really are an expert at managing the delicate dance between desperately unhappy couples, helping them get a little closer together, so they can hold each other through the pain and into the light.”

“The weekend with Michael was excellent, and we’re both very happy we decided to reach out to him. There’s no way we could have done this on our own. We’re already looking at booking another day.”

“It’s fair to say the weekend was quite a raw experience for me. Whilst I knew I have the tendency at times to be an arsehole, having it exposed, and having to own it, and accept that it is not OK, is very confronting. I felt like I’d been broken down but not left destitute, rather provided with the tools to enjoy life to the fullest. I am grateful to Michael for being willing to get so honest with me, even if it didn’t look like it on the day.”

“I wondered if you ever wonder what happens to people after they leave. Seeing you was the turning point for us. Edward and I are still together. He shut down every attempt at addressing anything relational after our session, but the outbursts became much less intense. We had one altercation where he was shouting and I stood up and shouted back. He didn’t know what to do with that. I demanded he stop threatening to leave. He hasn’t used that threat since. It took me a couple of months to get the courage up. I pictured you as my backup, telling me to get on with it. Then I went into the lounge room, sat down and said, ‘I need you to stop screaming at me.’ He tried to start his carry-on, but I held the line. He hasn’t shouted since, and there have been about twenty times when previously he’d have just let loose. Today I said, as casually as I could, that I wanted to keep talking about us. He said OK. That’s a major breakthrough in itself. If you hadn’t changed the trajectory, I’d likely have given up and drifted quietly away.”

“Our time with Michael has been extremely helpful. My wife and I are rebuilding. I’m now attending several SLAA meetings a week and I’ve completed my first three steps with my mentor. My wife is repairing some of the trauma through her own therapy. For now, we believe we need to do some individual work before going back to couple therapy. Michael’s guidance has been instrumental, both in me hearing the truth and acting on it, and in my wife deciding to give our relationship a chance.”

“Thank you for your time on Saturday. While I shouldn’t have needed someone to call out something I knew deep down but had never properly admitted to myself, I would never have done it. I’d have just carried on beating myself up, being walked over, and probably been kicked to the kerb after wasting more years of my life. I called Judy and told her it was over, that I could no longer keep waiting. That ninety-minute conversation has been a major turning point in my life, for which I am grateful.”

“Before my wife and I started working with Michael, my marriage was over. My wife had ‘left the building’ and only agreed to therapy as a smoother exit. Michael explained that a smooth exit was not out of the question, but that a hard look at how we’d got to such a place was where to start. For me the process was plenty painful, but I did not want to lose my wife or my kids. I was happy to find that it was the cycle that was the problem, not me. Thanks to working with Michael I still have the relationship I always wanted with my wife and my family.”

“I really appreciate you following up. I know you tried very hard. The fact you couldn’t save my marriage is sad but, as you said, sometimes people aren’t meant to be together. My brain tells me I’ll get through this, even when my heart is telling me otherwise. I’m determined to have a good and better life, and I’ll work very hard for that. I’ll be forever thankful for the part you played in the most difficult time of my life so far.”

“From one health professional to another, an enormous thank you for the time we spent with you over the weekend with Sean at the intensive retreat. You are bloody good at what you do. Sean and I will live the happy ever after. I just finished watching The Last Resort, which was bloody hilarious. From one northerner to another, thank you. It was a privilege to have your skill set in my life.”

“You’ve had a profound and sustained impact on me and our marriage over these past few years. Whilst we only saw you a handful of times, I found the sessions incredibly valuable. A heartfelt thank you for being your brutally honest, wise and thoughtful self. I loved your ‘tell it how it is’ approach. It definitely has an impact, even if it takes a while to kick in.”

“One year since our wedding yesterday. And one year of sobriety today. Still deeply sad, hurting, and in love with her. It’s been the most difficult but incredible year of my life. I never would have taken one step towards a healthier emotional existence without your guidance. You changed everything for me, and for everyone I come into contact with, mostly my children. I walked to mass last week to light a candle for Becca and her children, for what we were and what we could have been. Thank you again.”

“This isn’t necessarily goodbye. At this stage we feel you’ve equipped us with the tools to go it alone, and if we need more sessions we’ll book them. It’s not exaggerating to say you saved our marriage. We were stuck in a downward spiral that almost certainly would have ended in divorce. With your help we’ve seen clearly the negative cycle we were trapped in, and we’ve got the tools to escape it. We’d 100% recommend Michael to any couple going through the same thing.”

James and Sophie